...is the story of my life right now.
it might have taken us a couple of pregnancies to finally get a real one, but i'd say it's totally been worth it! i couldn't imagine not having the experience of miscarriages now because i've seen how much i've grown, how much we've grown as a husband and wife, and i wouldn't change it for anything! but most of all it has made me love this little bean sooo much more!
(even if i feel like poop most of the time)
i told my doctor as soon as we found out which was a day before four weeks.
(and in the target bathroom because i was too impatient!)
because of my history she put me on progesterone suppositories to keep my levels up and low-dose aspirin which basically is just a blood thinner. and then had me schedule a seven week ultrasound to verify the pregnancy. those three weeks from the time i peed on the stick to our first ultrasound felt like the longest three weeks of my life! i was so incredibly nervous and would go from being happy about the positive test to just wanting to cry and begging for the worst not to happen again. i just didn't know if i could go through it all over again...not just emotionally but physically.
in my head i really really thought it was going to happen again. i thought we would go in, have the staff say congratulations blah blah, then once the little ultrasound thing was shoved in me we'd find an empty sack, just another big black whole without a fetal pole, then sit in the lab forever, while i'm trying not to cry too hard, to wait for more blood tests to be taken.
i'd done it twice before so i knew what to expect and i thought it would be the same routine that day. but this time as soon as the little wand went in me the heartbeat was beating away and i could see our little one and it's soon to be placenta!!!
i couldn't believe it! i was in shock! i just cried.
here we are at seven weeks:
and lucky us!
i thought that first ultrasound was our real first one but really it was just to verify the pregnancy. so we got to see our babe looking a little more like a human again at 12 weeks!
this was the best! it's little arms and legs were moving all around! and you could actually see it's fingers and toes! (they don't really show on the pictures though)
so here we are at 12 weeks:
(i know they say 13 weeks on the picture but i think the nurse practitioner's measuring was a little off)
ahhh now all i can think about is how crazy it is i'm actually growing a tiny human inside me and that it's going to have to come out of me!!! i can do it, i can do it!
