yesterday was a poopy day. i had to work in the afternoon and straight from there was going to joanne's to get the last thing i needed for my project for sewing class that night.. and then to haley's house to head to our class. i got everything ready the night before and had it all lined up by the door so i wouldn't have to drive back home because it's further than haley's. my machine, all the gadgets needed, and my super cute fabric that i couldn't wait to get working on... and right as i go to pick up my things to get in the car for work i realize that i don't have the stinking cord or peddle to even use the machine!! i started frantically looking for it knowing that i knew it wasn't in the few spot that i looked because i had already organized everything since we moved. i hate being late so i was even more upset. i kept looking hoping that it wasn't actually in our garage which brian, who is at work, has the key to. so i left it all and went to work and now have to wait another two weeks for sewing class.
on top of being mad at myself for not realizing the cord wasn't with the machine until the last minute EVERYONE but me is having babies. it's not fair. it's not fair that i keep thinking that if i could only get and stay pregnant that i will be happy. but i HATE that i think that. i shouldn't think that. sometimes it's just hard to be happy. and sometimes i just don't want to do anything because i just want to sit and let myself be sad. i'm allowed to do that right?
it's annoying that certain days i have so much motivation to do everything... like eat healthy, exercise, cook and clean the house, be social, practice the piano for once!, actually finish the book i'm reading. and then other times, like yesterday, i only want to be home and do absolutely nothing but be sad.
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