letter to my birthday girl

My Dearest Little Quinny, 

Since I was little, like kindergarden little, I remember being obsessed with babies.  It soon grew to be anything babies/pregnancy/birthing.  I always said I wanted to be a baby doctor.  Then I got a little older and thought being a midwife sounded good.  And then I  got a little more older and realized what it would really take to become a midwife so I knew that wasn't happening.  And then I got a little older and wiser and married your daddy.  After a couple failed attempts at keeping you in me and lots of tears, prayer, growth, and time, we finally had you in our arms.  My sweet Quinn, having you made me understand what it really was that I wanted all those years of loving babies and time spent wondering what 'I wanted to be when I grew up'.  I wanted to be a mommy.  I wanted to be your mommy.  I wanted to have to the best, most divine role on earth.  It's just I didn't know, until you, that being a mommy was that type of job.  I knew it was hard, I knew it was 'the best job', and knew it was something I was going to do and wanted to do.  I just didn't know that being your mommy was all I ever really wanted and that nothing else compared.  You have given me so much that I can't even begin to wrap my head around it all.  

In the book "I am a Mother" by Jane Clayson Johnson, Sheri Dew says, "Through her mothering, a woman is the consummate leader of leaders.  If we truly believe that we are here in mortality to be tested and to demonstrate by the way we live our lives whether we want to be part of the kingdom of God or not, then what could possibly be more significant than bearing a child and thus making it possible for a spirit son or daughter to advance beyond the preparatory state of premortal life and enter the testing stage of earth life?  And having borne that child, what could possible be more enduring or important in the eyes of our Heavenly Father than nurturing one of His sons or daughters--teaching and cheering that precious soul on, preparing him or her to pass the test? 

Nothing. No diplomat or CEO or billionaire philanthropist does anything that comes anywhere close in importance to what a mother does.  No trophy or status or honor of man begins to compare with motherhood in terms of its eternal impact and glory.  Period."

You, my Quinn, have showed me that to be true.  So very, very true that it brings tears to my eyes.  Growing up I never understood anything along those lines of what motherhood really is.  But because of you I do now.  I really, really do!  Thank you for choosing me to be your mommy.  I want you to know that through the good and the bad days, and the ones with lots of messes and mistakes, that I love my job.  I love being your mommy.  I wouldn't want to be anywhere else besides right there with you changing your poopy diaper, driving you to practices (hopefully dance classes), and teaching you how to become a mother yourself one day.  I hope that you know how much you are loved and how important you are to your daddy and me.  You have been a challenging little babe in a lot of areas but in all the rest you are far more than we could have ever imagined for our little girl!  I hope that you will learn to love and listen to our Father in Heaven and His Son Jesus Christ, that you may feel the spirit in our home, that you can learn to love and be kind.  

You are the most amazing one year old I know and we just can't get enough of you!  You are very friendly, spirited, and stubborn and I love you for all of it!  I can't wait to watch you grow and learn this next year as a curious little toddler! Wow Quinn! We made it one whole year and I don't even know where the time went!  Thank you birthday girl for giving us the best year yet!  

Love,
Mommy